Worth your while for a minute...

This week has been really rough for me. I finally stood up for myself and did the best thing: telling that person I mentioned in a prior blog that I had enough. I cannot benefit from a friendship where I am constantly being criticized, put down, treated like shit, swore at. I deserve respect. I am a whole hearted friend. So, once I am invested in someone, I do EVERYTHING for them. I rarely ever tell them no, I drop everything for their convenience, I put up with their rudeness, and attitudes, but I HAD enough. I have had a close friend who was always self-centered since I was 7 years old. It's time I actually only kept the people who treat me with dignity close. They say to keep your friends close and enemies closer, but I don't find a difference in friends to enemies at times. Enemies can't hurt you like friends can. If everyone knows you and another person have it out for one another, they will know that if you say something untrue about the other, that it's just crap only meant to bother the other person.

It's so frustrating that you cannot rely on people for too much. It's not that I am so trusting, I am not. I am so giving of my time, effort, self, and money for friends that take that for granted. Now, I am not trying to brag and say I am this amazing friend. I do have a good reputation. BUT I do invest a lot of myself into my close friends, and not enough in the others who actually would be better for me. Usually the "friends" that force themselves upon me into the "close friends" slot, they are the ones that end up driving me INSANE because I do EVERYTHING I can to please them, and it's NEVER enough.

This isn't meant to be a journal. My point is again about friendships: why stay in a friendship when you are treading glass? or thin ice as the saying may go. No one should make you feel inferior to them, especially if you have done much more for the relationship to work than they ever have. They have NO RIGHT to put you down, they are more than likely jealous, insecure, just selfish and self-centered, absorbed, obsessed, or even psychotic. <- Not so likely. Yes, you should show love and kindness, but LOVE yourself. Even Jesus said to love your neighbor as YOURSELF. You need to love and respect yourself just as much, too, for a healthy friendship.