It is hard to find love these days. I've been on a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon today, so this topic has been on my mind. I'm not sure if I really agree with matchmaking. It seems superficial and forced. Can you really make something work with a complete stranger? I guess, you do have to set aside time to get to know the person. But with this show, people learn the negative things about someone right away. For me, this is not usually the case. The dark and dirty isn't revealed straightaway. Of course, I have experienced the awkward first dates that are a complete turn off. But you aren't going to learn all there is to know in one or two dates.
Relationships are all superficial, it seems. They are all about physical, and talents and attraction. It's all competition. I cannot stand fighting against the person I am supposed to be "working with". No one stays around for the long run. I hate when a guy says "I'm not like all the other guys" but funny thing is, all the other guys say the same damn thing. I'll be the judge of that, sir. I am so discouraged when in a relationship. It's never enough, and I'm never enough. There never seems to be a balance between dependence and interdependence, and independence.
This game is lonely. They are either too overwhelming, or they completely ignore you. I cannot understand how someone just leaves you hanging. I do not believe any person is worth wasting time over. If they make you wait and wait, they obviously are not worried about you. They would commit if they really cared. If you are just so uncertain where you stand with someone, MOVE ON. You cannot make someone happy if he will not let you. And you should also not be in a relationship where the guy is over powering. It is uncomfortable and awful.
I'm sorry my rant makes no sense. I am in a pathetic situation myself, and I am confused. I cannot handle what's going on. I just need a break from "romance" but it seems, once I'm "in the market" I am not left alone. No room to breathe. Except, the person I want to be with, they just put a wall between us, and they are unreachable. I'm feeling like "sdhfaosdhfoavnudoiua ashvnauadsfoifbaodfy nsayofbvyasofyda" so confused. I am so tired of this bullshit.
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