A customer I’ve known for two years told me to write an essay about my 21st summer. He said it could be about what really happened, what didn’t happen, and what I wish could’ve happened. It made me realize how much I experienced this summer and learned from the choices I made. I realized that there were a few things I never thought I’d do that I did, and things I wish I hadn’t done, and things I regret not doing. I am tired of thinking I will not have a good year and on every December 31st I spend worrying about what mistakes I’ll make the next year. So I fret the new year every time.
What dreams will I make reality this new year? That’s what I want to think about as I only have 26 days left of this year. What things will I accomplish that I’ve put off? Which worries will I let go of and which regrets will I finally forgive myself for? I want to say I will do every one of these things. Make all my dreams reality. Accomplish all the things I’ve put off. Let go of all my worries. Forgive myself for all my regrets. I don’t want to write an essay about the things I wish I could’ve done. I don’t want there to be that space in my life where I look back and want to change things all the time, or add something because I didn’t live an exciting summer.
This year has been a really rough year, but I’m stronger and I’m wiser and emotionally independent. I am free yet I let myself be bound down the last few years. Things will be better next year because I will make them so.
