Friday, March 20, 2015

We're Just Inferior After All

"I wish everyone was loved tonight. And somehow stop this endless fight. Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."
I believe I can freely say that the most amazing feelings in the world is the warmth, joy, happiness, [and whatever it is] that love can give. There is no way to limit what love can bring to our lives. It is heavy, it is beautiful, it is pure, and it is painful. I truly wish there was never a person that experienced a life without love. People from all walks of life and from all different beliefs can agree on this one point: A life without love is meaningless.
The most common topic to write on, sing about, make features on, ache over is love. It is a reoccurring theme to find love, to keep love, to fight for love, and to show love. What does it look like to really experience love? There are different definitions. What I've discovered as that in some ancient languages, they had different words for each different type of love. I think the problem today is that we have cut out these different ways of saying "love" and just jumble it into the phrase "I love you" thinking that it's enough. Unfortunately, since this is a culture of "how I personally perceive things" is the most important view on life itself, it doesn't matter if someone is showing love in a different way than a person wants it. If that person doesn't see it as love (or truly love he/she is wanting), it's just tossed off as worthless, "hate", or heartlessness.
 Can't we just begin to reshape our minds on what love really is? Why does it have to be based of someone always feeling good or happy? Love inspires so many emotions and works of art. Why is it limited then to emotions when it comes between two people? And why is it limited to always doing what someone likes or approves of or making someone feel good about himself/herself? There is passionate love, friend love, family love, long love, empathetic love... To me there is so much yet to be understood about LOVE.
I have yet to feel long lasting love because that is only for those two people who have been married and faithful for so long. I believe that has to be one of the most fulfilling things in life.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

I Want To Be Free

It comes and goes
the numbing pain of heartache the stabs begin when I remember
The beginning
And the first promises
everything was new and exciting everything seemed so real and promising
The looks you gave me
the pictures we took
the short time we had
and I've walked away from all of it.

You said I'm all you want but you'd never tell me why
Just that you need me, you love me
but you should have said why
I can't stay when I'm just a desire
if that's the case
I'll go either way because I lost the fire

It comes and goes
the mind torturous memories
the stab wounds have surfaced in the ending in
the last few words
everything hurts to look at everything haunts me, good and bad
The lack of direction
the self hatred
The destructive history
and I have walked away from all of it

You said you didn't need me to be angry
You always said I'm sorry
You never asked me about my story
You think this break is easier on me

I talked you through the fights
I always did the right thing
I had a desire to know your life
I pursued you more than you think

You said you still love me
But you didn't tell me why
Simple words aren't enough for me
You should've told me why.
I can't stay when I don't know
Who I'm loving.
I can't stay when I don't know
Why you want me.